Once Upon a New Year's Eve
by Amy the Yu
Summary: Relena's invited the Gundam pilots over to the Cinq Palace for a New Year's Eve party, but she just wanted to find a way to trick Heero into liking her. Too bad she didn't plan on Heero getting a life, a personality and something else, too...[Shounen ai]


By: Amy the Yu  
  
1 Once Upon a New Year's Eve  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing (even though I wish I did). Gundam Wing owns me and the Sotsu Agency and Sunrise own everything the least bit Gundam Wing.  
  
Warning: Shounen ai, yaoi 1x2x1, het R+1, Relena bashing, profanity, OOC, humour and um...anal probes?  
  
Aside from the non-sense, this kind of makes sense. Don't believe it? See for yourself:  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Heero! It's nice to have you here!" Relena bellowed with a sickeningly big smile on her face as she threw open the doors to the Cinq Kingdom Palace.  
  
Scowling at her, Heero pushed passed the over enthusiastic hostess of the New Year's party and stepped into the front hall.  
  
Unfortunately for him, the ever-persistent Queen of the Rich Bitches quickly caught up to him, leaving the other pilots at the door without so much as a glance. She latched onto Heero's left arm and immediately began to babble aimlessly, mind set on making Heero hers by midnight.  
  
"It's great that you accepted my invitation. I haven't seen you in ages and I really missed you." She talked into Heero's unhearing and uncaring ears. "We really must catch up on the last few months."  
  
Heero blocked out all the noise coming out of Relena's mouth and looked around the restored palace. Relena's "Fan Club" members were all over the place, eagerly awaiting the chance to compliment Relena's outfit. He honestly felt that they were quite moronic to look up to Relena.  
  
Finally realizing that he had stopped walking with Relena and she was not poking at him repeatedly trying desperately to get his attention.  
  
"Zechs sneaked into my bedroom in the middle of the night and hog- tied me before selling me off to a group of aliens so they could shove a bunch of metal rods up my ass in a traditional alien style anal probing." Was all Heero heard when he finally came out of his thoughts.  
  
Horribly confused, Heero took a step back before screaming right in Relena's face, "What type of a freak are you? I don't want to hear about what aliens shoved up you nasty whore ass!"  
  
This got everyone's attention. The silence was so great that one could hear rats skittering around in the crawlspace in between the walls. A minute in silence passed, then two, then three and then Duo ruined the moment by opening his mouth.  
  
"You too? I can't remember clearly, but just a week ago, I was about to fall asleep when a green humanoid came into my room and rammed something right up my ass. It felt kind of good though, just like when Heero and I –" Duo was abruptly cut off my Heero.  
  
Unwilling to let Duo continue telling about their very "private" moments, Heero interrupted, "That WAS me...dressed up as one of Santa's elves."  
  
Relena was awestruck. "You d-dressed up? As a-an elf?" She stuttered uncontrollably.  
  
"Oh shut up and go fuck one of your little groupies, Relena." Heero was getting fed up with the direction that the conversation was going in. "And everyone else better stop staring at me or you will BE that groupie that Relena fucks."  
  
Almost as if nothing had happened, the party resumed from where it was before Heero's outburst. Relena got over Heero's threat quickly and was clinging to his arm again.  
  
Reaching into a hidden pocket on her outfit, Relena pulled out a sprig of mistletoe and held it over Heero's head before whispering, "We're standing under mistletoe. Come on Heero, pucker up."  
  
Totally disgusted, Heero removed himself from Relena's grip and shrieked, "NO!!! GOD NO! Get those demon lips away from me."  
  
Relena took a step closer to Heero and asked, "But why not? It's tradition to kiss the person that's standing under mistletoe with you."  
  
Backing up again, Heero replied, "First of all, I'm gay you dumbass. Second, Christmas was a week ago, so why don't you take that poor excuse for a plant clipping and shove it up you ass along with the anal probes!"  
  
Being the idiot that she was, Relena completely misunderstood him. Smiling, she whispered, "Why don't you shove it up my ass for me? You would probably do a better job of it."  
  
"I don't even want to touch you!" Heero screamed right in her face, "I might get cooties from you or maybe even worse, I might get covered in Relena germs, eww!" With that, he turned to run away from the girl, but not fast enough it seemed.  
  
Relena somehow got the notion that Heero was playing hard to get and happily took up the chase. Round and round the palace they ran. Running into other guests, running into servants and even running into a few walls and several closed doors. Surprisingly, it was Heero who ran into the majority of items as he fled, blinded by panic, from the persistent freak that followed him everywhere.  
  
It was less than a minute before midnight when Relena called a truce between the two, for now, and they joined everyone else in counting down the seconds to the New Year.  
  
"10...9...8..."  
  
"Can you move away from me?" Heero asked, feeling rather uneasy by Relena's close proximity.  
  
"7...6..."  
  
"But there is no more room to stand and I don't want to push anyone over to make room. Besides, I would rather stand close to a tough, rugged man like you when the New Year comes." Relena cooed making Heero feel even more uneasy.  
  
"5...4...3..."  
  
Scowling for all he was worth, Heero snapped at Relena, "Then you would probably like to move a little less close to me because the 'tough, rugged man' is about to beat you to a pulp, so you won't live to see the New Year."  
  
Just the slightest bit startled by Heero's comment, Relena took a small step away.  
  
"2...1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" everyone shouted as the clock chimed midnight.  
  
"Happy New Year!" Relena called to Heero as she leaped at him to give him a hug and a kiss.  
  
Not believing her own eyes, Relena blinked her eyes and looked again. Sure enough, Heero was heading in her direction with open arms.  
  
'Could it be that Heero actually got into the holiday spirit and he's going to be nice to me for once?' Relena thought to herself, 'Who cares, either way, I'm taking advantage of this opportunity.' She leaned closer and...and Heero walked right passed her. 'Of course he's not going to be nice. What the hell was I thinking!'  
  
Relena turned her head to see whom it was the Heero had chosen over the Queen of the World. Looking through the crowd, she could just barely make out Heero swapping spit with someone who wore black...and had a long braid?  
  
Realization hit her like a ton of gundanium.  
  
"Aw shit! I lost Heero to Duo! Why are all the cute ones gay?" she mumbled to herself, "Fuck New Year. I swear that Heero will be mines by Valentine's Day."  
  
1.1 OWARI 


End file.
